Obito's Never-ending Playlist
by Heyra
Summary: [Konoha Modern AU, KakaObi] Obito was "trained" by one Uncle Madara Uchiha for three years. In the span of those years, he completely changed due to his uncle's strict regime. Once he reached sixteen, Madara thought it was a good idea for him to transfer back to a regular school. Stress, alienation and embarrassment ensues. Only his music can save him now.
1. Under Pressure by Queen

_Pressure pushing down on me_

 _Pressing down on you, no man ask for_

 _Under pressure that burns a building down_

 _Splits a family in two_

 _Puts people on streets_

* * *

Thirteen years old Obito is hesitant to leave his home but the circumstances give him no options.

He is too young to live alone and his only cousin that he genuinely liked, Itachi, is too far away to reside in their place. That's the reason why his relatives decided he was going to be transferred to his Uncle Madara who lives alone in the opposite side of the country – the only kin nearest to him.

He steps out of his house for the first time since his parents' funeral and was met by a coal-colored, slick Lamborghini with a twenty-five (or so he thinks) year old man lounging on the side. The said man wore a red, long-sleeved dress shirt paired with black slacks and black leather shoes. His hair is ebony, unruly and tied in a really messy ponytail although Obito could admit it looks cool despite it being comparable to a witch's mane.

The intimidating man approaches him and impassively asks "Are you Obito?"

The boy nods twice and watches how the adult carried his bags to the trunk and gestured for him to enter the car. When he was comfortable sitting on the front passenger's seat, his uncle starts the engine and begins to drive.

The younger Uchiha stares at the window, observes how the house he used to live in for thirteen years slowly disappears from sight. He sighs, dejected. His home is a childhood memory now, sadly an abandoned one. He would make sure to never forget about it though and promises to come back once he's older, preferably when he starts settling down. It was a big house enough for ten people to inhabit and it would be a good place to start a family after all.

His uncle clears his throat to get his attention. "My brother said I'm not good in taking care of kids but I'll do my best," the older man states while turning on the windshield wipers as the rain starts pouring. Still depressed, Obito responds with a slight bob of his head. The fact that the weather seems to match his mood didn't help with his state of mind.

Finally noticing his melancholy, Madara clears his throat again; this time due to nervousness because his brother also claimed he wasn't good at consoling people. Let alone a little boy who's fresh from his parents' burial. He tried thinking of a way to start a conversation. "By the way, how's your school performance?" he questioned when no good topic came to mind.

The young boy mutters "terrible" and went back to being silent. Madara cringes. He was pretty sure no child would want to chat with any adult about school but he was getting desperate. Well, he guesses they could bond over tutoring? "How about your grades?" he asks.

"Awful," the boy says.

"Your PE class?" he tries again.

"Shocking… I even got into a fight in front of my Gym instructor once."

"…Even Home Economics?"

"My teacher claimed my attempt of cooking was 'appalling'."

"…At least you know a lot of words synonyms with 'horrible'."

Obito shrugs. "I learned those words when my teachers tried to explain my grades to… mom… plus, the same boy who I'd fought with in PE class kept repeating those words along with pathetic, pitiful and defeatist."

"How did that go?"

"My mother was a nightmare when the debriefing was over. As for the boy, we got into another fight... do I have to tell you what my parents' reaction was?" the kid answered monotonously.

Madara chuckled. It was a known fact the Uchiha family didn't take grades and behavior lightly. For the clan, having high marks, big salary, grace, class and ending up with an impressive job is equal to respect. One of the examples is him: perfected every exam, earned millions every year, CEO of a company, number one gentlemen claimed by a magazine and labeled as a role model inside the family circle. Doing the opposite would only land you the title of "black sheep" and a sneer. Perhaps he could guide the child into following his footsteps? The older of the two smirks. "Well, have good news for you then. Once I'm done training you at the age of sixteen, you're going to be a prodigy."

Obito turns to his Uncle with an anxious gaze. "Should I be worried?"

'Maybe' Madara thought, a sinister grin visible on his face. The poor kid starts sweating.

* * *

Madara's so called 'training' consisted of him being home schooled.

At the first up until the third month, he was thought Algebra, Literature, Science, Culinary, Self-Defense, Music and Arts. In the morning he would be tutored (tortured) by the best teachers in the country, and in the afternoon he and his uncle would play basketball and/or table tennis. There were no rest days. Apparently, it was for sissies.

The fourth to eighth month was filled with Trigonometry, Physics, Chemistry, Baking, Biology, more Music and Arts. Lectures would be on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Wednesdays are for table tennis competitions his uncle signed him up for, and Sundays are for relaxing (after complaining Physics and Trigonometry was making his head explode) and making pastry.

The last week of the eighth month was when he received his first golden medals. He won the competition in both table tennis and the cake making contest nearby. Also, it was the first time he could say he was proud of himself for once. Madara wouldn't admit it but he was too.

On the ninth to twelfth month, the subjects were about Business, Business Etiquette, Accounting, Basic Programming, Robotics, Carpentry, Martial Arts and a review of the first to eighth month subjects. It was the hardest phase of the training but it paid off when New Year's Day came and his Uncle told him they would change things a little bit.

The change was this: In a span of three months, Obito must learn a talent, master it and perform it on the very last day of the last week. Schedule of practice can only be on weekdays. Weekends are for reading and relaxing only. It was the strictest time of Obito's life but at least it wasn't as hard as the ninth to twelfth months last year.

He ended up learning parkour, all kinds and variations of dance, fire breathing with a mix of fire dancing (though he turned into a pyromaniac after those three months of practice. Who knew fire could be fun?), and acting.

Madara was impressed, although he banned Obito from the following: matchsticks, lighters, hairsprays, gasoline, gunpowder, fireworks, flares, wooden sticks and any kind of flammable matter. He even made the fourteen year old sign a contract saying he's "supposed to be flame-free twenty-four/seven when he's in the vicinity of Madara Uchiha's property."

When he reached fifteen, his uncle deemed him intelligent and talented enough to stop being tutored. All he did this year was review, research and read about anything to everything. He was honestly going insane with all the amounts of free time. He wasn't used to it anymore. It was a good thing there was music to at least distract him when he's getting bored. In fact, it was getting to the point where he's super attached to his Ipod.

Boredom is dangerous after all.

Boredom always equates to fire.

Once he arrived at the age of sixteen on the tenth of February, his Uncle called the training completely off but...

"I think it's time for you to boast what you've learned to the lower mortals. I signed you up to a regular school. Congratulations, Obito. You're a high school senior now."

The teenager stared at his uncle with intense exasperation. "… Uncle, sometimes I hate you."

Madara smirked. "I know you truly meant love."

* * *

 **08/21/15 - Edited**


	2. New Perspective by Panic! At the Disco

**Warning: Some bad words, and please do not attempt the hairspray mini-flamethrower without complete knowledge. It may explode if not done properly.**

* * *

 _Stop there and let me correct it_

 _I wanna live a life from a new perspective_

* * *

Sixteen years old Obito wore a dark blue, long-sleeved shirt and pair of black jeans match with a white belt and a set of sneakers. He grabs his new books and a black notebook to put into his orange backpack. Once he was done preparing his things for his first day of school, he turns to the clock to find that he was still an hour and thirty minutes early for his class.

He pulls out his Ipod from the bag and blasts "A Beautiful Life by Tim McMorris" on his speakers. He then lies down on the bed and began staring at the ceiling. After the song finishes, he put "Manic Monday by The Bangles" on repeat and starts restlessly pacing on the floor.

What kept messing with his mind is the fact that he honestly doesn't remember how to communicate properly with other people. Three years of no contact unless it was a tutor or his uncle made him socially inept. In the span of those years, he wasn't even allowed to watch television so he doesn't know anything new unless his uncle told him so. It didn't help the fact that the older man was inexplicably bad when it comes to casual conversations. It's sad to think that it rubbed on him and he was infected by Madara's inability to socialize like a normal individual would.

What if the people his age asks him about what goes on with the celebrities these days and he answers with an "Uhm"? He would look stupid and outdated.

What if his classmates asks him his favorite song and he answers with "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy by The Andrew Sisters" and they laugh because it's too old or worse, they laugh because they don't know what the hell it is and starts mocking the title?

What if they ask him about the new top charter songs of the week? Crap, this is harder than that Chemistry examination his Uncle pulled out of his ass one day.

Is he going to introduce himself? He was sure he was going to introduce himself. That's what they did when they were young, right? What's he going to say? "Hi, the name given to me by my dead parents is Obito Uchiha. I live with my uncle right now, Madara Uchiha, and he forced me to be home-schooled for three years 'cause he thought I was mentally and physically retarded. It was very tough. In fact, I got a few bruises that lasted weeks just because of a table tennis session. Who knew ping pong balls were efficient weapons? No worries though, I survived his sadistic attitude. No, you can't send in the child protective program." Was that good enough?

Fuck, he suddenly remembers he's a senior now. Do they do things differently in high school?

He faces his clock to find he only has Twenty-three minutes left. Traveling time is about forty minutes. Obito mentally curses again. Okay, here's another problem: What's his excuse of being late this time?

* * *

"-branch of science concerned with the nature and properties of matter and energy. That's the definition of-" Frantic knocks interrupts the teacher. He didn't look annoyed though. "Please, come in."

Obito apologizes once he enters the class, bowing a bit more than necessary. He was only ten minutes late miraculously (and knowing his record of luck, it really was miraculous). Hopefully the teacher wouldn't be mad at him, especially not on the first day. "I'm sorry I'm late. I got lost!"

Sadly, that was the best excuse he can think of. It was partially true though because he greatly underestimated the size of the campus. The whole place is _huge_.

The blond teacher chuckles and began talking in calm, relax manner. It relieves Obito somehow. "It is fine. First days are never tight on rules anyway. You must be the new student. Welcome to your Physics subject. My name is Minato and you can call me Mr. Namikaze. Mind introducing yourself to the class?"

The teenager completely froze. After thinking of an excuse earlier that didn't consists of grocery bags, old women and black cats, he forgot what he was going to say. Oh crap, he needs to improvise. "Ah… uhm… m-my name is… Obito Uchiha. I… I was home-schooled and… and…" tell them some facts "my Uncle's a dick?" Nailed it.

Somewhere in the classroom, an albino student shouts "He speaks the truth! Fuck Adults!"

Mr. Namikaze frowns disapprovingly at both of the students, somehow translating the words "we'll speak later" into a look. Obito wasn't sure if he should fear the man's ability or study its art – it may be prove useful in business or intimidation in the future.

The blond gestures for him to take a seat after the class stops laughing, and then promptly went back to his lecture. Forty minutes later, Obito's head was threatening to fall from his palm with how _boring_ it is. He knew all of that on his fourth month of torture- err, training after all. Pssh, this would be like _child's play_.

For imagining plenty of possibilities his first day might go wrong ranging from a wardrobe malfunction to a sudden urge to go to the restroom, this wasn't half bad. Okay, maybe he screwed up on his introduction a little bit, but they laughed due to the albino, right? Plus, the albino seems to agree with him.

Maybe his luck finally caught up after all these years.

His eyes were completely shut and he was starting to dream when all of a sudden the door opened and an idiotic excuse fills his ears. "Yo, sorry I'm late. I got lost on the road to life," said by the person in a lazy drawl. He snapped back to consciousness and saw a mop of familiar silver hair and bored-looking, dark gray eyes. The teen's mouth area is covered with a white face mask, the same face mask that haunted him for years.

'No, no, no, no, this isn't happening,' Obito thought while images of a boy mocking him in PE class plague his mind.

He knew he shouldn't have trusted his luck, especially not this early because somehow the universe always finds a way to fuck with his life. Take his uncle adopting him for example.

The Uchiha pulls out the black notebook out of his bag and began acting like he was writing notes; head fully tilted downwards and covered by an arm.

Obito wouldn't be seen if he doesn't make himself visible, right?

* * *

 **Omake: How Pyromaniacs Celebrate their Birthdays**

* * *

On the day of the teenager's sixteenth birthday, Madara bought a personalized cake for Obito. It was chocolate with vanilla icing, outlined and colored like fire while peppered with red candles on top. The cake, instead of the message 'Happy Birthday', was designed with a cursive font that says 'Congratulations'.

The twenty-eight years old man never knew he could be… _fond_ … of the young lad he took in after a terrible incident, but he did. He never even knew he could take care of a child. He couldn't even keep a pet alive for three days for Kami's sake so imagine him and his brother's surprise that the boy didn't thought of running away or calling in SOS to the Government.

Madara stood beside the table, cake in front, and waited for the teenager to walk down from his room and enter the kitchen. This was actually the first time he was genuine on surprising the boy without sadistic tendencies, so he was kind of excited. Ten minutes later, there was still no sign of the young adult.

The man never claimed to be patient. Sure he was on a magazine that declared him the gentleman of the year, and surely that would make him plenty of lovers, but there's a reason why he was still a bachelor after all this time. He couldn't wait long enough for 'the one' so he started giving no fucks about it.

He climbed the stairs and knocked loudly on Obito's doorstep. There was no answer. He entered the room without permission to find it empty. Now where could that boy be?

* * *

Twenty feet away from the manor, in a heavily forested area, Obito held a can of hairspray and a lighter, a manic grin and an insane glint on his eyes visible on his face. Using those two items, he made a mini-flamethrower with absolute glee.

He shouts "Happy birthday to me!" every time he successfully lights a patch of grass on flames. "So light 'em up, up, up, light 'em up, up, up, light 'em up, up, up. I'm on fire!" he sings while aiming at an anthill.

He's in paradise.

* * *

 **If you didn't know by now, Obito was singing "My Song's Know What You Did in the Dark" by Fall Out Boy.**

* * *

 **08/21/15 - Edited**


	3. Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

**Author's Note**

 **This is now cross-posted in AO3. That is all!**

* * *

 _These people round here_

 _Wear beaten-down eyes sunk in smoke-dried faces_

 _They're so resigned to what their fate is_

 _But not us (no, never)_

 _No, not us (no, never)_

 _We are far too young and clever (remember)_

 _Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye_

 _And you'll hum this tune forever_

* * *

Obito had a lot of habits throughout the years. He used to chew his nails, bite the eraser portion of his pencil and even got scolded by his teachers when he adapted tardiness in his schedule. When he entered his uncle's care, Madara made sure all of those were eradicated, but somehow his quirks would always find a way to be part in his life. In current time, he adopted a new habit which he still isn't sure if it's a good or a bad thing.

Classes are over and it's the start of the thirty minutes break every person his age and below, sometimes even the teachers, crave for. Before people could approach and try to converse with him however, he exited the room quickly and hid in a secluded area – the rooftop. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and pressed the speed dial to his uncle's number. The guardian answered quickly. "Yes?"

"I blame you for everything."

The older man sighed exaggeratedly. "What did you do?"

His face is the perfect example of exasperation in this moment. "What I did!? You're the one who had the brilliant idea of enrolling me to a regular school! I thought the sole reason of homeschooling me is to learn more than what the education system can only give?"

There was a lengthy pause. "… Did Obito embarrass himself on the first day already? Wow, life's over in the ripe age of sixteen. You had a good run," the man mocked.

"I didn't! … Well, okay, maybe I did... I'm still trying to figure that out." He's still wasn't sure if they were laughing at him or with him in his introduction earlier. "Anyway, yeah, this is your fault."

He couldn't explain it. Call it 'family intuition' but he could _feel_ his guardian's eye roll and deadpan expression. "You kept saying that to everything."

He was not going to lie. Yes, he does say that a lot, especially since he was thirteen and his literature teacher taught him the Art of Accusing by accident.

* * *

" _I blame you for everything," a thirteen year old Obito told his Uncle when he 'incidentally' annoyed his Algebra teacher to quit her job. The older man should've warned him about the woman's short patience._

 _Madara only looked at the boy in confusion._

* * *

" _I blame you for everything," a fourteen year old Obito said to Madara when he caught the carpet on fire. How should he know the carpet was apparently flammable?_

 _His Uncle looked at the thing on the floor with wide eyes before grabbing the nearby vase filled with water and flowers, using it to douse the burnt item. "New rule. You are not allowed to hold matchsticks, lighters, hairspray, gasoline, gunpowder, fireworks, flares and wooden sticks. Capiche?"_

 _Obito nods and sadly stares at the ruined floret. He loved those orchids._

* * *

" _I blame you for everything," a fifteen year old Obito muttered to his guardian when he lost an art competition. This time he doesn't even have any explanation to say except he got a sudden urge to accuse his uncle for no reason._

 _Madara shrugged and kept ignoring the sulking teenager by playing games on his phone. He was crushing it in Floppy Ninja Bird. He can't afford to lose, ten points in and he'll beat his old score – the one he got when he was drunk._

 _Ding!_

 _Score: 46_

 _Best Score: 48_

 _Dammit!_

* * *

Madara chuckled in amusement. What a big sadist. "Besides, Obito, what's the use of training if it doesn't come with bragging rights?" he said before hanging up.

The teenager glared at the screen before putting it back to his pocket. There was no use on making the older man an outlet to his anger. He clearly enjoys his pain.

He took out his Ipod and began blocking out the noises around him. He had eighteen minutes left before his next class anyway and it's not like he's hungry. He chose "Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners" and began singing one of his go-to songs when he's upset that didn't consists of screaming men and/or excessive cussing.

There was a tap on his shoulder.

He took the earphones out and stared at a beautiful, blue-haired girl who looks annoyed. "Do you need anything, miss?" he asks, a little nervous and it's not because he forgot how to socialize, it's just because he was never good at talking to females in general. Not even in the past. Not even if they were tomboyish girls, _especially if they were tomboyish girls_. He would be teased by his peers by how feminine he seems to be compared to them. Most case scenario, the tomboy would probably butt in and call him a pussy. He's in touch with his sensitive side after all.

"You're in our spot," the girl stated.

"Oh," he stupidly replies before the words processed in his head. Once it did, he grabbed his bag and walked away. Almost a few steps to the door, the girl called to him.

"Hey awkward singing guy, what's your name?"

He faced her with scrunched eyebrows and a worried expression. Should he lie about his name? _She's a stranger danger_. Plus, didn't she say "our". It indicates she has a group. What if this spot is used by delinquent students and apparently he wasn't allowed to be here? What if she tells the leader about his trespassing and gets a beating later? What if she's a part of a gossip group and tells every student here in school that he's a 'socially inept, introverted loner, get help, he's a weirdo'?

Is he overthinking this?

… Screw it. She's a _cute_ female. Fucking say your name, loser. "I'm Obito."

Just don't tell her your last name of course. There could be some other Obito running around the campus, right? It's not impossible with the population of people in this school. There's a twenty percent chance he won't be spotted out of all the students in this big ass campus.

The girl gave him a calculated once over, nods to herself and then promptly sits on his earlier spot. What the hell.

Obito leaves the rooftop in confusion and slight fear. What was that all about?

* * *

 **Omake: How Pyromaniacs Celebrate their Birthdays Part 2**

* * *

Madara is currently proud of himself. He doesn't usually do good things for other people but today, he didn't just surprised Obito, he also surprised his self on how he didn't add something malicious to the teenager's cake and/or the gifts (the possibilities of an exploding cake though). It's safe to say the older Uchiha is content and happy in this given moment.

Maybe his good mood was the reason why his judgement and common sense was a little blurry. "Okay, Obito," he called while he was still in the kitchen preparing the other treats while the boy sat in the dining room table, in front of the cake, waiting. "You can light up the candles now."

It took him a complete minute before realizing his mistake. He cursed before quickly dashing to Obito's location.

"I blame you for everything," the boy mumbles, standing two feet away from the burnt table cloth and the ruined cake.

The guardian wouldn't admit it but it's his fault in the first place for not taking away the hairspray and lighter from the pyromaniac earlier.

* * *

 **07/23/15 - Edited**


	4. Gives You Hell by All-American Rejects

_When you see my face_

 _Hope it gives you hell_

 _Hope it gives you hell_

 _When you walk my way_

 _Hope it gives you hell_

 _Hope it gives you hell_

* * *

 **Four Years Ago from the Present**

 **Gym, Kannabi Elementary School**

* * *

A boy with silver hair stood above the panting Uchiha. "You can't even climb a rope. You're so pathetic, Obito."

Obito snarled at his classmate and attempted to stand up. Unfortunately, his body protested so he ended up on his arms and knees. "Shut up, mole-san," he muttered, breathing still labored.

* * *

 **First Month of Uncle Madara's training**

 **Backyard, Uchiha Manor**

* * *

If somebody told you table tennis is a harmless sport, they're fucking lying. His uncle had hit him on the head far too many times to be considered an accident. Every successful strike felt like getting hit with a whip. It was _that_ strong.

"Are you playing with your paddle or are you playing with your forehead, I can't tell," his uncle teased and he got another smack on his noggin. To top his humiliation, Madara chuckled, looking like a smug devil as ever.

Obito snapped. "Stop that, old man! Are you seriously trying to send me to the hospital!?"

His guardian's face told the answer. The bastard wasn't even close to feeling guilty. In fact, he looks more of a cat that ate the canary.

Madara shook his head, trying to feign disappointment but wasn't effective enough due to his snigger. "You can't even defeat this 'old man' in a game of ping pong. _You're so pathetic, Obito_."

Like a switch turning on, unpleasant memories of falling from the rope filled the boy's mind. In slow motion, hardened onyx eyes waited for the ball to be aimed at his skull. Once it made its first bounce on the table, he positioned himself into a perfect pose and imitated a flawless forehand smash. The ball passed through Madara's side before he could blink.

His uncle gave him a genuine smile – the smile Madara gives when he does something right after a succession of mistakes. It was his non-verbal way of saying "I'm proud of you".

"Let's take a fifteen minute break."

Obito collapsed on the spot.

* * *

 **Six Years Ago from the Present**

 **Home Economics Classroom, Kannabi Elementary School**

* * *

Obito stared at his burnt, unidentifiable food. He took a peek to his left to find an exemplary plate of Sunny-side up eggs. ' _Why can't I cook like that?'_ The boy started to pout.

The new transfer student, whom he stood beside with, snorted. His classmate pointed at his plate. "That looks pitiful."

The Uchiha's pout was now matched with sad eyes. "I know," he mumbled.

"You suck at cooking."

Obito sighed and slumped further. "I know," he repeated.

"Like really suck. I can't even tell what that is anymore."

Instead of replying, young Obito glared at the rude silver-haired boy. The said silver haired boy stared back with confusion.

* * *

 **Eighth Month of Uncle Madara's training**

 **Kitchen, Uchiha Manor**

* * *

Obito wiped his hands with a washcloth. He smiled as the finished masterpieces of an egg pie, a heart shaped Leche flan, a bowl of custard and a dish of custard bread pudding decorated the table. "Uncle! I need a taste tester!" he shouted.

A few minutes later, Madara arrives in the kitchen with a hand on his stomach. "Again? You're going to make me fat at this rate."

The boy raised an eyebrow, face sporting a deadpanned appearance. "Hush, now eat," he commanded.

* * *

 **Present Time…**

* * *

How could he forget that silver haired bastard if most of his willpower came from the fact that his younger self was utterly destroyed by one Bakakashi. The moment he saw the familiar hair and eyes, and heard the _annoying voice,_ he already knew who it was.

There was still seven minutes left before his Literature subject starts but he decided to visit his classroom early to avoid getting late. The instant he opened the door however; he was met with noise in which students are already chatting with each other in groups. Only two people were sitting alone, one red-headed, petite guy scribbling notes on his violet notebook and a…

Shit

A silver-haired bastard who's taking a nap in one of the front row seats nearest to the window.

Obito took a deep breath and observed the classroom. Okay, no sweat. There are 30 seats inside – five columns and six rows. He could pick a chair in the last row and he wouldn't be spotted.

He avoided people's gazes as he slowly walked to the room's rear end. The Uchiha could hear a few whispers that he's pretty sure were about him – the anti-social newcomer. Obito ignored it all though. It's far important to be hidden right now than glare at his spectators like what his uncle taught him to do if people are bothering him.

When he reached the chair, a teenager with shoulder-length red hair tapped his shoulder. "That seat is reserved for Konan."

Damn."Oh," he said, voice tinged with chagrin.

"My name's Nagato. Nice to meet you, newbie," the unknown teenager greeted with a kind smile. He looks trustworthy anyway so when the redhead outstretched a hand, the Uchiha immediately shook it. "We still don't know who would teach us in our literature subject but we kind of guessed it's going to be Old Man Jiraiya," he informed, looking at him like he's supposed to be ecstatic, eyes glinting with excitement to see he's reaction to the reveal. Unfortunately thirty seconds has passed, Obito only got confused. Nagato visibly deflated. "Jiraiya? As in 'Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi' Jiraiya?"

That… doesn't ring a bell to be honest. Obito got more puzzled. Is he supposed to be a celebrity or something? Should he know about him? Why wasn't he informed?

The albino from before, who was apparently eavesdropping, giggled like a maniac and placed an arm on Obito's shoulder. "Maybe you would recognize him more with his other _popular_ book, Icha Icha Paradise."

Now that… he had heard of. He gave a slight nod. "Yeah, I know that. My uncle reads it before bedtime. I haven't read the book before though. My uncle insisted I'm not allowed to." Aggressively too. After asking what his uncle is reading, he was shoved out of the room with force and got shouted at for questioning _inappropriate things_ like that's going to help him understand why Madara was blushing all of a sudden.

The albino laughed and left the pair. Nagato frowned with disappointment. "Of course you know Icha Icha more than his other work," he mumbled. "Anyway, yeah, most likely our next teacher is Jiraiya-sensei so that means all new students must be at the front. It's not a rule… but his memory is a little faulty. He needs to familiarize first before getting your name right. Trust me on this. He used to call me Migato, Naruto and Pipi before getting it correct."

Well, shit. Universe is fucking with him again. He's sure of it.

The Uchiha hesitantly agreed and went back to the front, eyes checking from time to time if the bastard had raised his head while he was walking. There were five seats at the front line. The chair next to the window is obviously occupied and the middle one is owned by the redhead who's still furiously writing on his notebook. That leaves him with the seat near the door and the two chairs –both beside the redhead, one of which is a stone throw's away from his former classmate – for his options.

He chose the one near the door. A few minutes later, a blond girl- _boy, he is definitely a boy_ , coughed to get his attention and calmly informed him that his spot has been "taken already. I basically own it. I've been sitting on that chair for two years."

Obito's next choice was the one between the blond and the redhead only to be stopped by a teenage girl with no ounce of shame. She loudly proclaimed her name was "Anko Mitarashi, second assistant of Professor Orochimaru", whoever that is, and then shrieked as the girl leaned in on him and licked his ear. Anko winked suggestively before settling down, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Needless to say, the Uchiha felt molested.

The poor violated boy steadily glanced at the only available chair left.

His heartbeat got faster.

Sweat started to break out.

His face though was the perfect example of calmness and disinterested. On the inside, he was screaming cuss words to whoever supernatural being above who's controlling the fucking universe because _why are you such a sadist?_

He sat on the seat and placed his bright orange bag on the floor. Praying to whatever deity above to protect him from evil childhood rivals because he's tired of that shit and refuse to go back to old ways. _He changed, dammit._ Meanwhile, Kakashi heard the rustle beside him and snapped to consciousness, faced Obito with his eyes closed, forming an upside-down 'U' shape, and whispered "You were so much louder the last time I saw you."

* * *

 **Omake: The Punching Bag**

* * *

Madara thought it was a good idea to hire a self-defense teacher for Obito while he's getting home-schooled. They were Uchiha after all. It means they're always a target when it comes to kidnapping and hostage. In fact, he could count the number of times his younger brother got kidnapped on his hands and feet. It even reached a point where Izuna's ransom video consists of yawns and sentences like "been there, done that" much to the other sibling's liking.

He doesn't usually watch the boy's progress but today he had nothing to do but sit and be pretty.

"You punch like a girl," the tutor informed. They haven't realized he entered the room yet so Madara sat on the floor with his legs crossed and didn't bother to announce his presence.

The boy snorted. "I'll have you know my Aunt Mikoto hits far stronger than both of us combined and… I speak by experience," he said and visibly shivered. His uncle chuckled at that. It was true. Mikoto, one of his cousins from his father's side, really knows how to pack a punch. There was even a time he was convinced the woman was bionic.

The tutor shook his head. "I don't care. You must attack far better than that _thing_ you did earlier or you'll get assaulted easily."

Obito groaned. " _I can't_."

The tutor groaned too. " _Just try_."

While watching the incredulous exchange from the teacher and student, Madara's brain started to work. He's a natural solver. It's his job to fill in the gaps and mistakes caused by other people. It's one of the original reasons why he's made CEO in the first place.

In top of the Uchiha's head, an imaginary light bulb turns to life. "Boys, I think I got a solution for this," he delightfully declared. Both man and teenager jumped in surprise to see him there. "Obito, can you describe your former classmate's appearance? You know, that boy who use to terrorize you."

* * *

 **A week later...**

* * *

"Yes! That's it!" Obito's self-defense teacher praised. "My Kami! I have never seen such a strong kick by a boy in your age."

The said boy gave his all in mindlessly hitting an object Madara gladly called "The Bakashi Punching Bag".


	5. Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

**Author's Note**

 **My Chemical Romance is my favorite band so expect more songs coming from them. If you haven't known them yet, I recommend trying to listen to their songs. They're pretty cool, and if you're tired of the same concept (i.e. butts, money, bitches, exes, love, haters) they're a breath of fresh angst-y air.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _They say all teenagers scare the living shit out of me_

 _They could care less as long as someone'll bleed_

 _So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose_

 _Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_

* * *

"You were so much louder the last time I saw you," are the words Obito heard before he froze completely, one hand on his bright orange bag and the other a few inches near the armrest. His back straightened and his eyes widen. He didn't dare face the owner of the voice.

Did he hear that right? How did the bastard recognize him already without even looking?

"Hm? Is there something wrong?" the silver-haired teenager asks like he was actually worried for the "defeatist of an Uchiha" he once humiliated when they were young.

Everything went to shit after that.

* * *

Jiraiya is too old for this crap.

Okay, maybe not _too old_ , he's in his late forties thank you very much, but it wasn't his idea to teach a room full of crazy teenagers. It was Tsunade's. The only reason why he accepted the "offer" a few years ago is because of Nagato and Konan's "persuasion".

 _Tsunade sat on her desk. She crossed her arms while looking at Jiraiya with a glare. "Accept the job offer or I'll send 'lovely pictures' to your Icha Icha fans," she threatened._

 _The man snorted. He knew the woman far too long to know she wouldn't do something atrocious. She has a reputation to uphold. "Are you blackmailing me?"_

 _A few seconds of ominous silence later, she smirked. "Maybe"_

 _He confidently declined of course but that changed when Tsunade's smirk turned to a wicked grin. She shouts "Send in Nagato Uzumaki and Konan Mizushima" to her secretary who's acting as a witness._

" _Y-yes, Lady Tsunade," the poor victi- woman said. Judging by her stutter, she was a new employee. Jiraiya guessed a few weeks before her resignation._

 _The door opened and a teary-eyed Konan and a pouting Nagato entered the room. "Manipulative bastards," Jiraiya muttered after the young students begged for him to take the offer. He knew he shouldn't have told the Senju woman about the two…_

The man is going to repeat this again: He's too old for this crap. He just wanted to die peacefully in the arms of a gorgeous buxom lady and live his life traveling all over the world but no, Tsunade had to break those dreams and crush it into many pieces. But to be fair, Tsunade _is_ a gorgeous buxom lady…

When he opened the door to the literature class of high school seniors, he was welcomed by a crowd of teenagers huddled together in one corner cheering "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" while Nagato was trying (and failing) to control the mayhem. There were five students trying to record what's behind the wall of individuals, two instigators who are making others take bets, and a group of girls screaming their encouragements to one Kakashi Hatake.

Jiraiya raised a single eyebrow at that. Wasn't the Hatake a top honor student and a supposed role model of Konoha High? He vaguely remembers Tsunade bragging about said student to other school principals in a meeting last month.

The teacher stood gaping on the scene with confusion until a voice he recognizes asks "What's going on in here?" in an annoyed tone. He snapped from his daze and faced the blue-haired girl. "That's what I was going to say," Jiraiya mumbled.

With a quick calculating browse of her surroundings, Konan quickly spotted the redhead. "Nagato!" she called. The Uzumaki whirled to their direction and grinned. "I'm so glad you're finally here. Call all the members," he instructed. She gave a single nod and brought out a red and black whistle. In an instant, three male young adults lined up in front of Konan.

The girl turned to the blond of the three. "Deidara, get all of their attention," she ordered.

The blond gestured an affirmative and took out a phone and mini-speakers from his pockets. He pressed a few buttons and the sounds of many firecrackers echoed in the room. Once the sounds stopped, Nagato commanded the mass of students to get back to their seats and behave. The teenagers were about to protest until they saw the towering Jiraiya looking at them with a mix of disappointment and silent anger.

"You dare to call yourselves seniors?" the forty-six years old man berated. "Who started this mess?"

All students pointed to the teens that were still busy facing each other in dumbstruck silence.

* * *

Obito sat outside the Principal's office with his earphones on, "Bleeding a Stone by The Venetia Fair" stuck on repeat, but honestly he wasn't even listening to the singing man. The sole reason for wearing the object is to avoid conversing with the teenager beside who won't stop glancing at him. He only chose the song because it was loud. It served as a good enough non-verbal message to "shut the fuck up and leave me alone".

The Uchiha's not going to lie though. What happened earlier was technically his fault but if he was being specific, it was his instincts that came from his self-defense lessons that were implemented by his uncle's fault. Basically what he's trying to say is that it was Madara to blame.

Speaking of his uncle, how would the older Uchiha react to finding his kind-of-adopted son at the Principal's office in his first day? Would he be mad, cancel off this bullshit and make him go back to being homeschooled? Actually, that isn't a bad thing compared to this… or would he laugh and mock at his misery? Sadly, the probability is leaning towards the latter.

There was a tap on his shoulder. He took a disinterested peek to his companion. Kakashi simply sighed and motioned for them to come inside the office.

"Good morning, boys. My name is Tsunade Senju and I'm the principal of this school, Mr. Uchiha. I've already talked with your guardians. They'll be joining us shortly," the well-stacked blond lady notified as they entered the room. "While we wait, we shall discuss what _exactly_ happened." She crossed her arms into her chest and gave a 'no funny business' atmosphere. It was intimidating, but Obito has been frightened by worse – namely Aunt Mikoto.

Kakashi was the first to speak. He stuck a thumb to Obito's direction. "I asked if he was okay. He punched me."

The blond nodded and scribbled a memo in her notebook. "What's your side of the story, Mr. Uchiha?" Tsunade asked when she's done.

Obito shrugged. "He asked if I was okay. I punched him."

The principal blinked. She waited for more explanation to come. There was none. "…That's it? You're not even going to defend yourself?"

"What's there to defend? That's exactly what happened."

Tsunade dropped her pen and sighed loudly. "Well at least you're honest," she murmured. "Now I want to know is _why?_ "

There's no point of lying. What happened earlier was just a brief moment of vulnerability added with slight fear and anxiousness. It was his paranoia acting up again. "I felt threatened," he stated. Technically that was true even though he was supposed to say something more like this: "He was a bully when I was young. Do you seriously think I'm not going to freak out?" and even though that made more sense than his original reply, he was not going to show any signs of familiarity just yet. He was not ready.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Let me get this straight. You felt threatened… because I asked if you were okay." The Uchiha grimaced. If you say it like that… he made a mental note to practice his lying skills later. He gave a small nod that made Kakashi's face morph into incredulity. "Is this because of-"

The Hatake didn't have time to finish his sentence as he was interrupted by a sequence of knocks. Principal Tsunade called for the person to come in and his uncle opened the door looking like he won the lottery, grinning from ear to ear. However, he quickly sobered and went back from his default poker face expression when the principal raised an eyebrow to his reaction.

Madara sat down beside Obito. Using his CEO skills, namely negotiating and talking business, he asked the blond seriously. "So what punishment are we talking about here, suspension or a month long detention? If it's suspension, I recommend detention instead. The former is like sending a kid on vacation, not a very good punishment if you ask me."

Obito should have known his uncle would get a kick out of this. In fact, he wasn't even surprised.

"First warning" Tsunade says. "He's a new student and a homeschooled one to add."

The people inside the room might not notice it but Obito could feel the older Uchiha's disheartened aura. On the outside though, Madara nodded once and thanked the woman.

"But of course," Tsunade continued. The moment 'but' was said, Madara perked. "He wouldn't come out of the principal's office without a penalty. That would be unfair to Kakashi Hatake."

Different kinds of emotions passed Madara's expression – confused, surprised, amused and then downright joy at that exact order. For the first time since he arrived, he took a look at the other student beside Obito before facing his kind-of-adopted son with a devilish smirk. "May I speak with my _adorable nephew_ alone for a sec?"

"Sure, you may."

* * *

Outside of the principal's office, in a rare display of genuine glee, Madara is laughing so hard he was at the point where he uses his knees for support. "It's like fate wanted to screw you over!" the older man of the two shouted in delight.

Obito rolled his eyes. "It's not fate. It's a mere unfortunate coincidence, something that might not have happened if you weren't full of your ego and wanted to enroll me in a school just to brag about my skill set."

"Whatever you say it's still funny!"

The younger Uchiha had it enough. He was embarrassed earlier in his first class due to his lack of interaction skills, met with a girl who might or might not be a part of a delinquent group (and he does not want to know if she really is) and gotten reunited with his former tormentor all in the span of four hours and thirty five minutes. This was beyond a shitty day. "Shut up, old man!" he shouted, losing his cool. "You're such a-"

There was a cough. "Excuse me" an adult with long brown hair and tanned skin interrupted. "I'm looking for the principal's office? You see, Sakumo, my business partner, got called 'cause of an urgent… I don't know to be honest. He just told me to attend to it because he's busy at the moment. Seriously, paperwork is the bane of –"he stopped mid-sentence to gaze at Obito's uncle with wide eyes. "-'Dara?"

* * *

 **Omake: When the Teme's Away, the Dobe Play**

* * *

It's finally happening, Obito mused. Kakashi Hatake is finally transferring to another school. He couldn't believe it. Ah, he should probably thank the asshole's father for being a workaholic. The company wanted his father to move to their current location – the opposite side of the country. Sakumo Hatake has always been known for his love of career so it wasn't a surprise to the teachers when he chose business over his son's happiness. Maybe he should draw him a picture of a happy Obito bowing at his feet like a worshiper does to a God. He doesn't have homework today anyway and it's raining outside so he's kind of bored.

"Obito!" his mother called outside his room. "One of your classmates is here."

That's odd. Although Obito is friendlier, lively and cheerful compared to his relatives, he still doesn't have any friends because of his last name. His classmates made it perfectly clear that they didn't want an 'arrogant' and 'perfect' Uchiha in the way of their fun when they threw papers at the boy in their recess time. What do they want now?

He climbs downstairs and sees a drenched Kakashi standing with a towel wrapped around him.

"Hello, Dobe."

"Why are you here, Teme?"

The young Hatake appeared to be hesitant at first. His mouth opens but before he could utter a word, it shuts close. Kakashi shakes his head and asks "Have you gotten the black box yet?"

"…What black box?" Obito replies but instead of answering his question, Kakashi mutters never mind and left. Four years later, after getting reunited in Konoha High, the silver-haired teenager would regret leaving Kannabi Elementary School without explaining things to the Uchiha.

* * *

 **07-23-15 - Edited**


	6. Scott Pilgrim by Plumtree

**Author's Note**

 **Sorry for the late update. Thesis, exams… ugh.**

 **Thank you for pointing that out, Guest. I'll try to study the way I use my verbs. I appreciate it. English is not my first language and despite having a class, it's not very well taught (you need plenty money to attend into a high caliber school that teaches perfect English or a good teacher, which is scarce nowadays). I practice writing the language by reading and self-study but other than that, I'm blind here. Which reminds me, do you want to be my beta?**

* * *

 _ **ATTENTION: I started putting the lyrics where I got the plot inspiration from.**_

* * *

 _I've liked you for a thousand years, a thousand years._

 _(I can't wait 'til I see you)_

 _You can't stand to see me that way._

 _No matter what I do, no matter what I say._

* * *

It was weird standing between two people staring at each other – one in surprise and the other grim like he'd been told somebody just died. It was so awkward and tense; Obito had to place this situation in his top twenty uncomfortable/embarrassing moments, probably in the eighteenth position. His first being the time he accidentally poisoned his cousins' pet dog. How should he know dogs and chocolates have a toxic relationship? He was only six when that happened, and when you're really young, only three things made sense – stranger rhymes with danger, doing well earns you treats and everyone loves chocolate.

The younger Uchiha studies the newcomer, noting the few inches height difference with his uncle who's smaller in comparison, the healthy shade of tanned skin, the long, evenly cut hair, the dark, currently wide eyes and the laugh lines that indicate a typically happy person. Judging by Madara's expression, he must be either a) a friend he backstabbed in the past, b) a friend who backstabbed _him_ in the past, c) a business partner, or d) all of the above.

The stranger blinks, ends his momentary daze and then smiles ear-to-ear like a kid on a Christmas day. "It's been so long 'Dara!" he says, eyes suspiciously glassy. Oh shit, is he going to cry?

Madara crosses his arms and hisses. "Don't call me that, heathen."

"But 'Dara! Aren't you glad to see each other again?"

His uncle glares. If looks could kill, the man standing before them would've been disintegrated by now. Obito is even forty percent sure lasers might come out from Madara's eyes in any moment. "No" he replies (or more like growls), and just like pressing the off switch, the other man slumps down on the floor, joy suddenly drained out of him. Obito could swear he could see gray clouds hovering above the stranger.

' _The man is weird'_ Obito thinks.

The younger Uchiha wonders what relationship they had before. He never saw his uncle openly express emotions in public, well, not unless it's to spite him. His guardian is very hard to read on a good day especially inside his workplace where he's normally pokerfaced. It even took him a year and a half to open up to Obito, and the common reactions his uncle does are evil smirking, evil laughing (due to his failure), and disapproval frowning. There was even a time the young Uchiha was convinced he could only express those emotions, but his Uncle Izuna said Madara used to be a very loud, outgoing and happy kid. Obito has never thought of it before but _what the fuck happened?_

"Stand up, you fool!" Madara shouts when a few teachers pass by and started whispering to one another. "Have you no shame!?"

The stranger didn't reply but his pout got worse. Madara got pissed further. "Hashirama! I swear to Kami-" The older Uchiha raises his fist but before he could hit the man on the head, Obito held his wrist and coughed to get their attention.

"The office is in there," Obito points at the door, effectively dodging the potential commotion. It would suck to be given another warning because he can't stop two adults from fighting. "Shall we continue the meeting before the principal gets suspicious of our absence?"

* * *

In the end, the principle decides to send the students home early, a tactic to avoid gossiping teenagers pestering them about getting sent to the big room. Obito was very thankful as he was tired enough to finish the day. He doesn't think he could handle four more hours of questioning looks and literal questioning. At the present, he's in the car with his uncle driving like a lunatic as usual.

The younger Uchiha, whose used to his guardian's recklessness (and still wondering why Madara doesn't have endless traffic tickets yet), reclines his seat to catch a few Z's. It's been a long day after all.

"Stupid Hashirama," he could hear his uncle mutter. Does Madara know Obito could hear him perfectly clear? "Stupid youth, stupid emotions, stupid past, stupid naivety, stupi-" was the last he gathers before everything turns to white noise and sleep takes over.

* * *

Little Obito is very excited for his first day of class. It's tradition in Kannabi Elementary that exchange students come in every year and he's looking forward to it. Thinking that maybe he could have friends this time around or a new student would come up and befriend him. His hopes were high on this day that that was the sole reason why he's miraculously early, eager to attend the lesson.

Thirty minutes of waiting later, the teacher arrives. Mr. Kakko didn't notice him at first but a single cough from the boy made him jump. Obito greets the frowning man a cheerful good morning and the teacher grumbles his own while getting busy setting up his laptop on the table. Mr. Kakko was always a grumpy man so it didn't change Obito's thrilled atmosphere yet.

Fifteen minutes later, a few students came trudging in, obviously looking upset that summer has already ended. They spotted the young Uchiha quicker than Mr. Kakko did and gaped. "What's the Uchiha dropout doing here?" one of the females asked. Nobody bothered to reply and Obito was too much in a good mood to yell at her. _Lucky bitch_ , said 'dropout' thought.

Once the shock ended, they went back to their routine – sit as far away from the Uchiha and ignore Obito as much as possible. It would usually dampen the boy's mood but not today. Today would be a new opportunity to finally have someone to call as his friend, to obtain a companion and have someone to sit beside him in lunch time.

It didn't take long for the class to start but there were no new faces around. Obito's getting antsy; his left foot kept tapping on the floor. What if there was no exchange student after all? What if he's still stuck with the same jerk wads for another school year? No, no, no, he must stay optimistic about this. He refuses to reflect the implications of another lonely and terrible ten months of so called 'learning'.

A knock interrupted Mr. Kakko's dull lecture. The man went silent for a good half a minute before calling the person in. Obito started glancing up the ceiling, praying to the Gods above that this is the answer to his problems.

The door opens and the young Uchiha sees silver.

"…Kakashi, what are _you_ doing here!?"

Kakashi stomps to Obito's seat. He was about to repeat the ignored question but the Hatake simply slaps him hard before he could even talk.

He wakes up.

"What the fuck!?" he cusses.

* * *

Madara shakes Obito's arm. No response. He pokes his right cheek while creating a believable fart noise. Obito's only reaction to that is sleeping with his eyebrows scrunch and mouth turning into a thin line. The guardian blinks twice, looks around the empty parking lot before deciding to slap the young adult. A solid sound emitted from the harsh contact but it effectively brought Obito to consciousness. He sits up with a groan and a loud curse, holding his right cheek that's currently decorated with a pinkish outline of a hand.

"Glad you're awake, sleeping beauty. We arrive in our destination a few moments ago. If you were still thirteen years old, I might have carried you to my office but unfortunately you're all grown up. Come along now."

The younger of the two rubs his eyes then slides out of his seat to exit the car, too sleepy to argue with his uncle's questionable parenting skills. He observes the empty parking lot in a daze before asking. "Why the hell are we in Uchiha Corp.?"

Madara, who looks tired for some reason, mumbles a reply. "If you could still remember, I was at work when you were in school."

Obito nods understandingly albeit still a little tranced. He went pass his uncle to the elevators. Without even waiting for Madara, he presses the top button of the panel and waits patiently for the thing to carry him to his guardian's office. There's a very comfortable couch that's waiting for him to sleep on.

Outside the elevator Obito took, Madara sighs in exhaustion and gets into the next ride.

* * *

A poke in his cheek and he sat up from the couch. He rubbed his eyes, and when he opened them, he was met by a shy smile and obsidian eyes with pretty lashes and long lines beside the nose. "Good afternoon, Obito-nii."

* * *

 **Omake: The Most Awkward Reunion in History**

* * *

Madara's left eye twitches when he notices Hashirama's 'subtle' glance on his direction. The Senju has been doing it for a while now and it's seriously making it hard for him not to kick the other out of the room.

Obito, on the other hand, is actively trying to ignore the evident shameless peering of one Kakashi Hatake. The silver-haired teenager didn't even try to make effort to hide the fact that he wasn't listening to Tsunade's babbles, and it's making the young Uchiha's blood boil. _Does the principal even care or is she too dense to discern what Kakashi is doing?_ _What's up with him anyway? He looks like he wants to –_ Obito shudders – _eat me alive or something._ An image of Kakashi with white wolf ears and a fluffy tail holding a knife and a fork popped into his mind. In his vision, he was lying down with his back on the plate, looking up at the big bad wolf licking his lips and poking him with the cutlery while he's covered in steak sauce. If he wasn't busy being horrified, he would have suggested to use Salsa Verde instead.

Unknown to him, that's what exactly Kakashi was thinking… but in a different meaning… and different situation where there's a bed and a piece of rope, no sauce required.

"Now that everything's clear," Tsunade says and everybody in the room snapped their attention back to her. "I advise the boys to have a day off since –" Only to get back to ignoring the blond again.


End file.
